then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
