Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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