clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
