is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
