How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
