The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
