So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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