Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Bang-toberfest begins!!
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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