a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
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