there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
