worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Randomize
