I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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