You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
