Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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