That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
its liver damage thursday
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
