Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
