we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
