I can't breathe out the right side of my face
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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