Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
