she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
