It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
