have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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