Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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