come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
