He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
