i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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