I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
If I die, sorry about rent.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
