I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
