i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Randomize
