Where did you get a picture of my penis
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
