hell yes lets make some ravioli
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Farmville is her only friend.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
