i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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