Hey man sorry I got all grabby
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize