Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
