he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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