This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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