I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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