My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
