forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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