my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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