come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
