Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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