we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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