i think i have two assholes
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
