she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
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