i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
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