I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
