just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
