I am puke
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
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