Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
