what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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