i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
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It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
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No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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