no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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