i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Hippo gnu deer
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
