Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
