So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
