Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
