We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
